IF YOU EVER GET IN A FIGHT WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER JUST BREATHE IN THE HELIUM OUT OF A BALLOON AND HAVE AN ARGUMENT AND THE FIRST ONE TO LAUGH LOSES
you just put every marriage counsellor out of business
my favorite thing in stories is when the antagonist doesn’t die, but instead they realize they were being kind of a stupid dick (maybe because the protagonist saved them or something) and then they have to kind of awkwardly tag along with the heroes in order to make up for their mistakes and gradually become slightly less evil
Marie Claire (Italy) January, 2007
Photography by Max Cardelli
Warning Signs of Satanic Behavior. Training video for police, 1990
- Great hair
- Slayer, everywhere
- Tiny chalice
Brooker County Police advises parents that while you may be intimidated by your child, it is legally permissible for him to kill both of you for failing to be anything resembling as awesome as he is. Our hands are tied on the matter. We cannot protect you.
Omfg okay, so I’m adopted and when I was 15 I rode my bike to a local flea market. My little brother who was still with my Mom was allowed to spend the weekend with me so he tagged along.
At the flea market next to a bonsai shop we discovered a little wiccan store. So, naturally our curiosity led us inside and we marveled at all the mystical rocks and books. Feeling rebellious and having just binged on witch movies with my bro, I used my hard earned allowance to buy a poetry book and a book about earth magic. That would be enough to satisfy my curiosity and give me ideas for stories. My baby brother HOWEVER, goes and buys a book about how to perform satanic rituals. It had a red cover, a black graphic of a pentagram and 666 in big awful text on the cover.
A week later my brother called me in a panic. Our real Mom found his book and I could hear her yelling in the background. “She threw it into a fire!” he exclaimed. “She’s coming for you!”
Me? What? Since he was with me, I was sat down and given a long lecture about heaven and hell and how dare I lead my brother down a path of darkness. So, my bro got off easy and I was grounded and forever labeled a witch by my whole family. They’re still positive I have regular conversations with Satan.
In the end I did become a practicing witch for a long while. Not to spite anybody, but to gain an understanding of the distorted image of witchcraft and it’s roots. I no longer practice, but I learned a lot, met a lot of interesting people, and it was a worthwhile experience while it lasted.
Illustrations by Melanie Delon
By ELVIS MITCHELL
Photography CRAIG MCDEAN
Man come on look at this nigga!!
I’d suck the spirit outta his dick. Have that shit sparkly clean like it was cleansed with pure black soap. Have that nigga whole body numb walkin around with phantom limb n shit. Have that nigga rethinking how to do his taxes.
I don’t give a fuck. Shia is papi
shit. he’s gotten FINE.
but its important
IM SORRY BUT IM DYING THEY LOOK LIKE A BOY BAND
"its not fair girls can wear pants and guys cant wear dresses" stfu yes you can. go to jc pennys. buy a cute dress. wear the dress. if anyone says you cant wear the dress. slay them.congratulations you are wearing a dress
the best part is that this argument is used by guys to try and prevent girls wearing trousers, but who is preventing men from wearing dresses? is it women? oh wait no it’s men and the patriarchy, fucking again.